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did you want another baby after your ds baby?


 
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dalaimama
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PostPosted: October 08 2006, 6:34 PM    Post subject:
did you want another baby after your ds baby?
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Strange question I guess..but Lily is our fourth, and we were going to be "done" after her. But oddly, the day we got the Ds diagnosis one of my first thoughts was that I wanted another baby (not another instead of, another in addition to Very Happy ). Now my brain did finally kick in Wink and we really are done. Four is just our "at capacity" number. Plus on some level I think maybe being "the baby" is a good thing. But I tried to rationalize it and say the more siblings for Lily, the better in the long run. THat more siblings means more people to pitch in and help her out when needed, etc. I know we're probably done though.

But did anyone else suddenly want another baby? Now, I am keeping in mind I tend to be a "just one more" kind of gal and thought I was done at two, then three Laughing so maybe it has nothing to do with the Ds and it's just my unwillingness to be done having babies. Plus my sister is pregnant with twin boys right now and I'm having baby lust big time.

Anyway...just curious if anyone decided to have more/not have more based on the Ds diagnosis...

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Carson's Mom
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PostPosted: October 08 2006, 6:41 PM    Post subject:
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I did and still do. I do want to adopt this one-this last pregnancy about did me in. I really want a little boy to push Carson. The girls are certainly pulling him along- literally. Rolling Eyes Of course when(if) I get number 4, I will probably want another one but I KNOW that will not happen unless I win the lottery and my DH changes dramatically. And, since I never play the lottery if I get #4 that will be it.

Kayla

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mesmom
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PostPosted: October 08 2006, 7:05 PM    Post subject:
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On this one, I am the wrong person to ask. People are always asking us if we are done......hmmmmm...well.....maybe, but then, who knows. I love babies, and very content right now, but babies, and watching kids grow is just something I love. Remember, I am the youngest of nine, so of course, my belief is, you can never have too many. LOL

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Leah35
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PostPosted: October 08 2006, 7:36 PM    Post subject:
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dalaimama we're currently trying for another baby..Im not going to say Im not scared because I really am..Im now 36 so I know the age thing has crept in now..I have 5 boys the eldest Bradie is 17 but I was married before and had 3 of these children to my previous husband..in our support group here in Tassie a close friend who has a little girl Georgia 11 months DS is due to have her next bub in January..she has chosen to have no tests done because shes very religious and believes God will only give her what he knows she can handle..however I will have CVS done should I get pregnant at 10 weeks.. I had no tests done before and the initial shock almost tore me apart..I must say im still feeling so guilty about my initial feelings and thoughts.. so I will keep you posted on our progress Very Happy
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Nicola
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PostPosted: October 08 2006, 8:08 PM    Post subject:
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We didn't plan to have another one after Gianna, but we were delighted anyway when Sienna turned up! There is 2 years between them and I can say with out a doubt now that having Sienna was THE best thing we could have done for Gianna. Now they are almost like twins, and spend all day playing together and talking to each other all the time. They play imaginary little tea parties together with invisible cups and plates and food, they dress and undress their little dolls and just talk non-stop as peers. It is fantastic to see. I feel like with both of them growing up together it is like Gianna is being stimulated and pushed every waking minute.

I couldn't speak highly enough about the benefits of having another child a couple of years after your child with DS. I really like the saying of Mother Teresa "saying you have too many children is like saying you have too many flowers"!!

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dalaimama
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PostPosted: October 08 2006, 11:17 PM    Post subject:
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ooooh Nicola you're feeding my desire to have one more Laughing Laughing I guess I hadn't really thought about the "pushing" the younger sib will help with, interesting! Makes a lot of sense...

Leah, yeah I'd have the cvs too. I was all anti test before, but having the shock of Ds after the birth was really hard. I probably share a lot of your feelings since you found out after as well. Good luck with the ttc!!

mesmom, yup, I'm from a family of 7 so a big fam is just the "norm: to me. Not saying it's so easy Laughing but it's sure interesting!

Kayla, yeah I'd have an uphill battle trying to convince dh Laughing but it's fun to think about lol

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Cheryl
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cjsmum
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PostPosted: October 09 2006, 4:40 AM    Post subject:
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my first reaction when we were told about the DS was to get pregnant straight away. I dont know why, maybe i thought having another baby on the way would dilute the pain of the DS.... Our son is our first and it hit me very hard.
But then we found out he had translocation on chromosome 21 and that one of us might be a carrier. when they told us we mightnt be able to have more kids i thought my world had fallen apart. i felt dead, i really did. we then found our one of us wasnt a carrier and it was such good news. it almost paled the DS into insignificance.
Now four months on we are trying again... but i am so worried that me being worried will stop me getting pregnant!!!! its a vicious circle. i would have the CVS test done too.
does anyone else feel so cheated that not only have we gone through the DS but now every pregnancy will be stressful due to the tests etc??
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dalaimama
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PostPosted: October 09 2006, 8:15 AM    Post subject:
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cjsmum, I've often thought it must be harder to have your first baby have Ds than subsequent ones. Not that it's ever all that easy, but...I hope you know what I'm saying. ((((hugs)))) I guess I just mean, like you're saying, that all pregnancies after that will be more stressful, you won't get to have a worry free pregnancy (well, as much as anyone can have a worry free pregnancy Laughing that may be an oxymoron. There's always seemingly something to worry about!). I've always had a very non interventioninst mindset, not a lot of testing for anything and natural homebirths. I don't think another pg would be that way now, more testing, etc.. and it does make me a bit sad.

I hope you guys get pg again soon!!

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kris10z
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PostPosted: October 09 2006, 8:31 AM    Post subject:
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I have always wanted Ethan to be a big brother. I have just gone back and forth as to when! Right now, Scott just isn't ready. I hope in the next couple of years we will be able to be blessed with another baby. I never ever wanted my kids so far apart in age!

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EliasMom
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PostPosted: October 09 2006, 10:07 AM    Post subject:
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is this a sign or what? i was thinking on asking the same thing

elias is our first kid, we have always wanted 2, but since elias is such a loveld boy, everyone knows him, everyone ask about him, that we dont know what to expect for the next one. i want a girl. actually on saturday we went shopping and we were watching cloths for elias and i started calling "lilo" our next kid, haha im not pregnant, and im watching cloths for lilo anyway,

yesterday night, we were talking with my MIL about this, and she says that we should wait a little longer, i dont know when is the correct time, but im sure God will let us know Wink

and bny the way, we were talking about maybe having more than 2, we are gettin crazy, definitly.

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huskies9798
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PostPosted: October 09 2006, 5:22 PM    Post subject:
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interesting question well brooke was my first & I thought we were done . always having the tought of having another but was ok with one. well god had other plans we have baby # 2 due in jan surpirse surprise hehe brooke will then be 2 1/2 so I think timing was perfect. we didnt have any tests done with brooke either, but this time around have had just about everything but the amnio which I wont do. sooooo thats my story

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KStrickland10
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PostPosted: October 09 2006, 7:46 PM    Post subject:
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Cameron is our second child. And all the time I was pregnant, I was sure he was our last. The day we found out he had DS, I suddenly felt so sad that this was our last baby. Not because he had Down Syndrome, just because I love having a baby. Once I got busy taking care of all his needs, the want for another baby kinda slowed, but I still think every day about how sad I will be, when he is no longer a sweet smelling little baby.

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mommy2nicholas
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PostPosted: October 10 2006, 10:54 AM    Post subject:
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I DO want another one, but Nicholas is really our Miracle Baby right from conception. We had been told by our fertility specialist that it wouldn't be too likely even having IVF done. So we had given up.

I am praying that God will bless us again - even with DS again if that's what it takes. I know I need to loose some weight first....and then there's the lack of the 2nd income since I don't work....but we'd get thru.

I think that initially the desire to have another one so quickly was to have my (our) dream filled of the perfect baby. But we know Nicholas is perfect...perfect for him.

And to Nicola - can you PLEASE share some of that red hair?!! I absolutely love your family picture. (Have to admit it has made me think of the Weasleys from Harry Potter. But I LOVE IT!!)

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Yailet
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PostPosted: October 10 2006, 3:56 PM    Post subject:
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Daniel is definitly not my last baby, I also love big families, I am an only child and I think that is the sadest thing in the world, I would love to have sibblings.
I would love to have two more babies. : )

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Ruby's Mum
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PostPosted: October 10 2006, 9:05 PM    Post subject:
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Very interesting reading... When we were pregnant with Ruby we thought at the time she would be our last child - being my 2nd child and my partners 4th. However, once she was born and we found out about her DS we both immediately agreed/decided that another child would be good for Ruby. Before we knew it, I was pregnant again... we were a little shocked, stunned and scared. I did have an amnio - all has come back 'normal', I felt we couldn't have survived 9 months worrying about what 'might' be. There will be less than 12 months between Ruby and the new bub! We are due 30 Oct.

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kellyrimmer
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PostPosted: October 10 2006, 9:53 PM    Post subject:
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At first I wasnt sure but changed my mind later(if that isnt so obvious now that I have 3 weeks left till this baby is born).

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Emeline's Momma
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PostPosted: October 11 2006, 12:37 AM    Post subject:
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Absolutely! Neither of us want Emeline to be our only child. However,
just because some people (like us) want more children, doesn't mean we will be able to have them. It took a miracle to get Em, so if God intends to bless us with a brother or sister for Em, He'll just have to work miracle #2! Smile
(And so that's what we're praying for!!)

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PostPosted: October 11 2006, 3:46 PM    Post subject:
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I am done - but not because Delphine has ds. I just know 2 is what I'm most comfortable with. Delphine couldn't have a better big brother (he adores her) and I think our family feels complete. Smile

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Joel's Mom
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PostPosted: October 12 2006, 12:46 AM    Post subject:
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Very interesting question. Joel is our 1st baby. We wanted to have 2 children, but the moment Joel was born we both instantly want 3. I hadn't even left the hospital yet and another was on my mind. I think instantly I didn't want Joel to ever be alone and I want him to have several siblings. I lost a pregnancy 10 years ago, so I went through the whole high risk pregnancy with Joel (bedrest, hospital stay, drugs, docs appts. every week). We are both ready to do it all over again next fall. I think it will be an easier pregnancy for me next time around ~ knowing that I went full term and brought a beautiful baby into this world.

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Kotvas8
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PostPosted: October 12 2006, 1:42 AM    Post subject:
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Joel is our 8th, and yes, we would like to have more if God gives us more. I know many think we're crazy, and sometimes I wonder how possible it would be that another baby would be born with downs. It doesnt scare me like it used to though. Each of our children is such a blessing. Having Joel changed my attitude alot. He is SO precious. Joel seems like a perpetual baby sometimes, he only weighs 12 pounds, up from his 7 at birth. He started saying Ma Ma last night, and this morning opened his eyes, grinned at me and moved his mouth silently for a few seconds then it came out, and he got tickled. I LOVE IT. Nothing is sweeter. Joel is just Joel, with Downs, yes, because that is how God chose to make him, but I don't know him any other way. Sometimes I wish he didn't have to face the obstacles that he will have ahead, but God knows what He wants to do through Joel's life, and just like Joseph, Julianne, James, Jared, Joy, Judson, Johnny, and Jenny-the little dear deaf girl we keep, we must teach them how to face those obstacles and be all that they were created to be; to enjoy the life that God has given them, and to be grateful for everything that they have. We love our young'uns, and if God will give us more, we will love them too.

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James 1:5, Philippians 4:13 Christ makes the difference in my life. Now I know what it means to rejoice in the Lord. Thanksgiving is the key. In everything give thanks.... And I have SO much to be thankful for. One DEAR HUSBAND, Joe, and eight dear children, Joseph, 9/19/89. Julianne, 8/2/91, James, 10/23/93, Jared, 10/12/95, Judson, 12/16/97, Joy, 9/28/2000, John, 12/30/2003, Joel DS 1/28/2006.
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Stephanie
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PostPosted: October 12 2006, 8:20 AM    Post subject:
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WOW! Melanie...CONGRATS! You are due sooo soon!
Me and my sister are 13 mths apart, so close is a good thing Wink
I wanted another one after Megan, but I always wanted a ton of kids....enough to have a successful basketball game at Thanksgiving time Wink
Good luck w/ your decision....I love the mother Theresa quote...Lovely!

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Tigger
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PostPosted: October 12 2006, 10:11 AM    Post subject:
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I wanted to have at least 5 kids and I would love to have another boy (I have one boy and 3 girls) but I am 44 now and my body has said "ENOUGH!!!" I wanted another one but I couldn't cope with any more miscarriages and I don't do pregnancy well. If I could adopt/foster another one or two or more I would. The DS didn't put me off and quite honestly I would be delighted with another one just like Talitha, she is so beautiful and I love her so much.

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PostPosted: October 13 2006, 6:03 PM    Post subject:
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#2 is due in April, I'm 15 weeks. We were scared at first, but always knew our family was incomplete. We were also worried about BabyX being born into a caregiver role and Clara comparing herself to a younger brother or sister when they're teens. We're just trusting God to guide us as parents.

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PostPosted: October 15 2006, 1:11 AM    Post subject:
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Oh my, reading your post make me soooo sad! I wanted one more....after Matthew....not for pushing not for growing...just the pure joy of having anohter child to love you!

I am so sad, as Josh had made plan for a "V" a few months after Matthew.(We have #3) My heart will always desire for on more....I am jsut afraid this will NEVER happen for me.....What sucks, is now I have such a deeper meaning to my life and to what I want....I can give so much more.....maybe....adopting might be in my future!?????!!!!

Anyone know of success after a Vasectemy? I know a reversal is somewhat of a success....but in many cases not! ) I am living proof of a reversal almost 30 years ago!!!!!! One of the first! No kidding! ANd I had a sister to follow....

I would love to hold on to SOMW hope of a new one.....God can only perform these miracles RIGHT?????

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IMRDY
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PostPosted: October 16 2006, 9:40 AM    Post subject:
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OMG! We were ready for #2 while we were holding her in the NICU! How insane is that? It is taking every ounce of willpower not to be trying yet. hahaha What Natalie did do for us is solidify that we want 3 instead of 2. It was always definately 2, happily 3 if there is an oops. I wonder what it is about our angels that make us want MORE!!! I think part of it for us was like pp's said, to have more of a family unit in case something happens to us.

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Mary Beth
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PostPosted: October 16 2006, 3:14 PM    Post subject:
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Tara, I have a friend who had one child and was divorced. She married a man who was 6 months older then her own father and he had 7 children of his own and had a vasectomy after his last child. Well my friend wanted more children so her husband had his vasectomy reversed. They could only repair one side and told her she had a slim chance of getting pregnant. Well she later when on to have an additional 13 children, so yes it is very possible to reverse the big V.
Mary Beth

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