Tom,

I was wondering if there is any way that we could have a section that would be only open to members. Lately I have seen a few threads that I was kind of surprised at - mainly because this is open to anyone and the contents are relatively private. I have been a member of another board that 95% is open for anyone and one section is closed to members only. Is that a possibility here?

Thanks,
Kayla

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,


Callan (6), Kenna (4), Carson (2)

I know photos are limited to members only

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Naomi
Mum to Callum (DS) 3/03 and Kieran 8/04
Read all about us
Our Photo's
Our Video's

Right, photos are members only. I would just worry that a member only forum would become the main place for posting and we have a lot of lurking parents who haven't registered.

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Tom

Dad to Beth (15) and Mikey (10 - Ds and PDD-NOS)
My Blog - Random Thinking


What a difference a haircut makes!

what pray tell is a lurking parent?

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HOLLAND WAS JUST A DETOUR TO PICK UP VICTORIA, NOW WE'RE OFF! AND I THINK SHES FLYING THE PLANE! FINAL DESTINATION---- OZ!!

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Tom

Dad to Beth (15) and Mikey (10 - Ds and PDD-NOS)
My Blog - Random Thinking


What a difference a haircut makes!

ok, not a computer guru here, but would it be possible for moderators to lock threads so that they can only be viewed by members? We could request that a thread be private to members only that way it's kind of a discretionary thing on what the mods feel should or should not be that private.

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Gina & Craig Parents of Tegin 9/3/99 & Koda 12/12/03

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Tom

Dad to Beth (15) and Mikey (10 - Ds and PDD-NOS)
My Blog - Random Thinking


What a difference a haircut makes!

dont u feel there is something sinister about secret posts lol paranoia is not a disease its a survival trait

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HOLLAND WAS JUST A DETOUR TO PICK UP VICTORIA, NOW WE'RE OFF! AND I THINK SHES FLYING THE PLANE! FINAL DESTINATION---- OZ!!

I'd prefer locking a thread rather than a private section.....

I have to defend lurkers here.... I was one for more than a year. I was simply afraid to introduce myself but read the posting most days!
I just needed time to feel comfortable.... I suspect I'm not alone with these feelings.

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Linda & John
mom to Hannah Kate (Age 9 ), Robert (Aged 3 - DS)

i can relate , my wife would never have joined, she would have a been a lurker, i think the term lurker is kinda sinister though a question, how many lurkers are there?

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HOLLAND WAS JUST A DETOUR TO PICK UP VICTORIA, NOW WE'RE OFF! AND I THINK SHES FLYING THE PLANE! FINAL DESTINATION---- OZ!!

I don't know how many peoplel ACTUALLY post on downsyn, but there are over 2,000 members. All forums might as well be public at that number. When someone chooses to post something, they do so knowing it's a public forum, myself included.

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~Leah~

Did you vote for my mom today? http://www.blogforayear.com/profiles/leah

http://www.gardenofeagan.blogspot.com
mom to Noah 20, Tyler 18,Angela 11 (DS)

I think it would be a good idea to have an area that was for members only, maybe titled

Member to Member

I haven't posted a few matters of the heart, because I question "what would I think if I were a lurker". Grant it, it's the same for new comers to this life journey, but it's also more private.

I'd rather know that some posts were only being read by the normal people that post and read posts.

Like lately I've had a few family vents about their ignorance and denial towards ds, but I don't want it just out there... but, I would love to have advice on how to handle it. (I've only posted a bit of it, but not some other shocking stuff).

Please give this more thought!

Thanks!
Jenna

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-Jenna
Loving supportive wife to Andre & Proud Mama to Nate 3.9 and Lana 2



Lana's Cyber Home! / Nate's Cyber Home!

I think this is a good topic.
I think it's important to point out here what the purpose of DownSyn is, and why it was created. It has been public fior several reasons, one of which is to reach out to those who would never post - including a whole range of people from scared people with a new diagnosis, unsure of what to do or where to turn. I think about those folks, all of the time. I know Tom's already said that, but I think that it is incredibly important.
It is also worth stating that these are public areas, and one should consider that when posting about personal info, issues of the heart, as well as potentially inflammatory (for a multitude of reasons) information that goes off the edge of both being supportive and "Be Nice."
Having said that, I'm not sure if Tom and Michel ever envisioned that so many of us would hang around so long, and/or develop some of the relationships that we have.
There are some that have created their own, private boards. I think that this can be a good thing, one can really 'let your hair down' with a smaller group of like-minded people. There are plenty of places to debate the issues. I think it's a cool thing that this place has done this.
I agree that, if Tom were to set up a members-only area, that there'd be some new criteria, and I'd be happy to be a part of that (I like to make up rules, lol).
DownSyn has made a special place on the internet, one like no other I know. I think the desire here is confirmation of that. I think the fear is how this might be altered.
Those are my thoughts.

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Nature goes her own way and all that to us seems an exception is really according to order.
-Goethe

I think I mentioned some time ago that on another board ( not DS related ) that is also open to the public but they have a what they call a FAO area

FAO being abbreviated to mean For the Attention Of

so for instance if I had seen something on another thread that someone had said and I saw something related to it that I think might interest that person I would put FAO Emdad for example and then he would look at the thread and answer it

The forum would be members only but if other members wanted to reply or add something they could

Its just a thought, as i say this works on another message board that I go on

I realise that the FAO is a UK thing as no one knew the meaning of it last time I mentioned it

Food for thought anyway

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Jo mummy to Hannah (DS ) who was 4 in July 05,Rebecca who was 3 in Jan 07 and Rachel born 6th April 2006


My beautiful girls



Please visit Hannah's webpage read all about her journey
Hannah's Video

Wow.. I have mixed emotions on this one too. On the one hand, I understand about debating whether or not to post an issue or concern I have about Austin. However, is it right to constantly check our words to make sure we are only positive? There are realities of raising a child with DS. To be honest, no matter how negative or 'scary' the stories have been concerning other children with DS...none of them come close to the picture I had in my head of what my son would be like. The other day, my husband and I sat and watched Austin play with a new toy. Such a simple thing, but we both got a little misty eyed over it... You see we thought he'd never do that. We used to wonder if he'd ever play by himself or discover on his own. Now we are wondering if we need to tether him to keep him from climbing to the fireplace hearth and taking a flying leap. My question is... Our lives are Good, Bad and Ugly. Do we want to sanatize the board for only the Good? Is that a real picture of life and don't we set up parents to think perhaps their children are 'really' delayed because they don't compare to the 'brags' section? Can't tell you how may "I feel better cause I thought it was only my child" type of posts we see on hear in response to someone else's thread about a concern.

But hey, I"m like Jeff....either way I'll support the decision for the greater good...I'm just throwing out an opinion.
amy

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Mom to seven beautiful children...including Mr...I didn't make that mess....
(aka Austin - 05/18/04;TOF ♥ repair 05/25/04)
Austin's sibs...Kristin(23), Jessica(20),Rebecca(17),
Rachel(12), Hunter(7) and Sarah(11).

Personally I don't think it's a good idea. This site has a forum to openly discuss and share things and like Leah said, everyone that posts knows that it's an open forum to the public and whether they choose to post private issues is up to them. If anyone wants to post they can and if they don't want to, they have that option as well. I've shared some of my most personal feelings, and emotions on this site with people who knew where I was coming from and it was my therapy for years............still is. Most of the members here have become like a big family and I think it's wonderful that we can share things, especially things that don't have a thing to do with Down syndrome. Just shows that Down syndrome isn't the only thing we'll think about for the rest of our lives. Life does go on.

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Vonda, mommy to Peyton, Sophie, Noah(Ds) and Halle

Well, I was going more towards posts like issues of the heart referring to family, that may pop in and take it personnaly that I am seeking advice regarding them ie.. my MIL posts.

I'd love to be able to post and not have to worry about certain individuals in my family or friends reading. Not that they come here, but you never know.

In ways I would invite them to visit and see all the beautiful kids and families along with all the brags and what not, but there are things that I wouldn't want them to read. Plus, they are all very private people and wouldn't understand.

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-Jenna
Loving supportive wife to Andre & Proud Mama to Nate 3.9 and Lana 2



Lana's Cyber Home! / Nate's Cyber Home!

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Tom

Dad to Beth (15) and Mikey (10 - Ds and PDD-NOS)
My Blog - Random Thinking


What a difference a haircut makes!

See, again, you'd have to take into consideration who might read these things before you post. That's where making a few best friends from the site would be helpful so you could do all the pm's you want and no one else has to know anything about it, but you could still share with someone. I have a few of those and they are a Godsend!!!!

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Vonda, mommy to Peyton, Sophie, Noah(Ds) and Halle

MIL.. wouldn't ever register. She doesn't like acknowledging Lana having ds , at least most of the topics, only things like "those babies are sweet and etc..".

I have a great group of friends that I can confide in, but it's great to get advise from those that are in the same boat as me. I haven't given much thought to PMing my closest friends from downsyn with these issues, but the more advise the better.

It's all good. If you're not interested your not interested. Just a suggestion.

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-Jenna
Loving supportive wife to Andre & Proud Mama to Nate 3.9 and Lana 2



Lana's Cyber Home! / Nate's Cyber Home!

This is an interesting thread. One I have tried to come to a creative solution as well. When MaryEllen was born, I shared this site with many, hoping they would glean from it what I was gleaning while lurking here. Well, ironically, I got "addicted" to people on here, and started to post. Mean while, I forgot who I had passed it along to. Well, I did pass it along to family, which I forgot, and realized later, they were getting most of their info about us from here. It was strange, and is still strange for me today, cuz I like to think that you all are friends of mine now, and I feel like I have a whole bunch of family listening in on my "conversations". So I have thought about going to private forums. I am even part of one, but I find myself drawn to coming back to here. Like there is some odd curse on me now. LOL. Anyhow, I am mindful, that family watches to see if I am doing okay, and that is a little funky for me. So for me, a list where those who have posted like 100 times or more or something like that, where we could share stuff that we want to keep to our selves, but is still with all you downsyn folks, is like a dream I would be so happy to have. But I realize that is unrealistic, so I am keeping it as a dream. I guess my point is, I understand where those of you who wish for some privacy with all of these people some of the time, but not all of the time, would be handy. Mostly, I am very comfortable with what I am saying, and don't hold back. But on those times, that I would like to share something that the "regulars" could help me with, but I don't due to the fact that I know I have an audience, who I love by the way, if you are reading now, LOL. I have to giggle, there have been times when I have had a family member talk to me about stuff that I definitely only posted on down syn. I guess I am lucky they care enough to watch my threads. I hope they keep watching after my honesty here now. LOL. Diane

Personally I feel that the forum should be left open for all the lurkers out there, they are searching for advise on issues surrounding raising their DS child and you guys are all the ones to give it.

Shirley x

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[img]

Grace Alexandra born 13/11/06 was Diagnosed with a completed AVSD and Downs Syndrome.

I am sorry, in my reply, I never intended to sound like the whole list, I meant a section where you have to have had about 100 posts or more to see it. Of course I feel like so much of this is for lurkers and getting information, that one area, in my dreams, would be for things that we just wish, because we have gotten so stinkin close from coming out of lurk dome, would be a place we could share really personal information with each other. Many of us have met each other in person, and have grown to know each other from here, which is because we have put ourselves out there. I never meant to imply that the forum be closed. Just dreaming about a section of privacy. Just wanted to clarify. And was just trying to show I have empathy for those wishing for this. Like I said before, I am sure it would be very hard to achieve. Of course, perhaps for those of us who have dared to come out of lurkdome, maybe we can do this. And maybe if those who are in lurkdome, had to introduce themselves, and post a while, like 100, they may actually do that cuz they would get to go into the 100 plus club members section. LOL. I know I am dreaming again, but a girl can dream can't she? Diane

Diane, I get you! Thank you for your empathy as I also empathize with you. (along with several others that have contacted me).

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-Jenna
Loving supportive wife to Andre & Proud Mama to Nate 3.9 and Lana 2



Lana's Cyber Home! / Nate's Cyber Home!

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Tom

Dad to Beth (15) and Mikey (10 - Ds and PDD-NOS)
My Blog - Random Thinking


What a difference a haircut makes!

Well I'm in two minds about this one.

I think the problem I have is in having a "private" section and controlling the posts in there. For instance if someone is looking for straight DS advice then surely, given the nature of the forum, that should be in an open area. The forum serves to give advice and information to those who chose to post and those that lurk. If that was to happen and one of the mods was to then move that to the appropriate "open" forum then we are risking a great big falling out! Which is something that we don't want.

However, on the other hand...I do see that a lot of us have developed a wider circle of friends that we can ask for advice. Yes there is the ability to PM people and even IM people where they have given that info. But I guess occasionally it might be useful to get the whole range of views for the registered members. But then how would we define a forum that covered these situations but made sure that topics that should be open to all readers remain that way (ok - with a number of these posts a category of Annoying MIL would probably cover it! )

I think that if we were to have a "private" or "relationships" (which is what most of these posts tend to be about) forum it would have to be tightly policed within an agreed definition. Then any post that fell outside that would be moved by a mod back into the open forums. Like I said, I'm in two minds (not sitting on the fence!), I would not like to see that many posts behind closed doors - but I can still see that there may be occasions that someone may wish to raise a question with the wider registered readership but not the lurkers. And as Tom stated earlier "The MIL might register!"

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Deryck
Dad to Xena 2 Aug 97, Lucas 28 Jun 99, Persephone 12 Jan 2004 (DS & AVSD repaired, artificial mitral valve)

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind - Theodore Geisel (Dr Seuss)

http://www.picklesnet.co.uk

People that are "lurking" 1) initially found the site because they are interested in down syndrome (for whatever reason), and they 2) continue to lurk because they find it interesting, helpful, informative, etc. I don't have a problem with that at all...especially since I was a lurker myself for almost a year before I joined!

But I do think that having a Personal Matters Forum is also acceptable--just one private forum for members where we know the rest of the world isn't reading. Yes, I know we're still open to the possibility of anyone who wants to register reading our "stuff" but it's still a LITTLE more private than unlimited access to anyone on the planet!!

The purpose of the site (I think??) was to be a place that anyone touched by DS could have a place to go to "connect"---and that still would be the purpose of the site as a whole. Having one "closed" forum is certainly not going to take away anything from those who aren't registered users. We would still post our brags, questions, pictures, etc. in the regular forums; the Personal Matters would just be about "private" (again, as private as the internet can be!) matters.
Brags, Questions, General, etc.--THOSE are the forums that people who are seeking encouragement or advice from need---if they aren't interested enough to register, why should they have access to who's mad at their DH or their MIL THIS week?!?

I really don't see one closed forum as being exclusionary at all. It's not like the whole site is being closed to them. Just one forum. (And if they don't like it, they can always register and join in the fun!) JMHO

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Barbie
Bill's wife 06/2001
Emeline's momma 10/2005

"When you can't see God's hand, trust His Heart."

Gosh, this is an interesting conversation. I guess I would go back to the point I made. When they offered to do a Santa exchange, it was for people who had posted more than a certain number of posts. That was not an insult, and had I been a lurker, I would have completely understood. So, I guess I see this as you could do the same thing. And then if a person wants to be a part of that forum, it may even encourage them to post and get to know us a bit more. After all, aren't we always hoping that people will come out and talk to us. This might be a reason people would maybe post. Ya know, like if they post, and they get to know us, they could be in that too. It is a matter of some of us have gotten to know each other, for better or for worse, tee hee laughing cuz maybe I am one of the for worse. And we have put energy into the "relationship" of sorts. And a private section for those who pass a certain number of posts, maybe 100 is too many, is an opportunity to enter into it. That way those lurking "over" us, those who join really just to read what we are saying, can not just "lurk' over that one section. I am thinking of Jenna's mil here. She would probably lurk on the whole board, but would she put herself out there to talk to us, to get in it. I doubt it. But then those of us, who have put ourselves out there, anything we want REALLY private, LOL, as it is the internet, but it is does give you a bit of privacy, can post here. Knowing that at least their lurking relative at the very least is not in there. And yes it would need to be monitored closely, but I believe in people on this board, especially the people who post frequently. This is a group of people who genuinely work hard to have thoughtful and caring conversations. More than likely the private stuff will be about someones mother in law, and nothing that is distasteful, like about others on the board, would be permitted. Same rules as on the regular board, be nice, ya know what I mean. The moderator could easily watch this, as it would also be people the moderator is familiar with, and their styles, as you need to post for a while, so people would be used to that poster. Anyway, I am just thinking out loud, I hope you all don't mind. I actually think this group of people could do this and it could be a neat thing. And as a lurker myself once, I would perfectly have understood, cuz I saw how people put themselves out there before I was willing to, and if they wanted a privat place to ask questions about their mother in law, and did not want to worry about her seeing, cuz everyone likes to be able to vent, but they don't want to make family matters worse. Anyway, we all have become so close, and it would just be an added benefit. Of course all the the other areas would remain the same, so I am sure this would not become a place where people posted all of their posts, just ones they want to maybe take back if they had to. LOL. Hope you don't mind my 2 cents in on this. It really is none of my business, but I would enjoy it if it happened. Of course, I am grateful even if it does not. And I probably would not post about my mother in law, but I would probably post about other private stuff, that I almos have, like about therapist questions, that are personal to a therapist, but then I found out they are lurking too, so I don't ask the questions, And some times I have real vents I would like to get out ther to you all cuz I love you and respect your opinion, but I know they are watching, and I feel like I can't ask the people I would trust the most. Anyway, happy day to all of you. Diane

Like my last post was not long enough, and I have to add more. LOL But I wanted to add, and it would be based on a number of posts, and not some arbitrary way of getting in, like knowing someone, that way, it is the same for everyone to be able to post there, no favoritism, and anyone who hits that point can post away. Some private boards, it is after they get to know you and you are approved. Your approval would come from your efforts not because of who you are to others. KWIM? Not that the other boards are doing this wrong, just I don't think it would be appropriate here, and I am just clarifying my thoughts. Okay, now I am done. Sorry Diane

This thread appears to warrant some thought again. Lately I have seen some posts that really could be better posted in an area more private to protect the member. The issues I was suggesting have nothing to do with DS, and I certainly agree that those should remain open. I was a lurker myself at one time and am thankful I could lurk - otherwise I would have never joined in. I just think that many people on here have become very close and sometimes things are said that can harm people in some way or another. I have mentioned on here that someone at work read every single post that I made and told me about it. That creeped me out and I am much more mindful of what I put on here. However, I have seen things lately that really could be harmful if viewed and that scares me for them. I belong to a board that I believe does this very well. There are many open sections and one that is closed. It is a board for LA Tech fans. It has 9 or 10 different forum which contain the majority of posts. There is one section regarding recruiting that is closed due to problems if information got out prior to signing days. I don't care about whatever criteria you set, I just think it would keep people from revealing too much information about personal matters. Once again, I reiterate - it would NOT be for DS related questions or information.

Thanks,
Kayla

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,


Callan (6), Kenna (4), Carson (2)

Yes, I have been thinking about this also. The one useful function that a members only forum would serve, is that it could not be included in the search engines. Some people may want to talk about a subject that wouldn't later show up on google.

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Tom

Dad to Beth (15) and Mikey (10 - Ds and PDD-NOS)
My Blog - Random Thinking


What a difference a haircut makes!