DownSyn Forum

Tom · Posted: October 28 2007, 8:00 PM Post subject: Curious: Mother and Father

Christopher explains to us that he thought his parents would divorce because of his Behavioral Problems. Do you think Christopher really understands his Mother and Father's reaction to his behavior? How trying do you think Christopher's behavior would be on a marriage?

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lespring · Posted: October 30 2007, 8:26 AM Post subject:

I'm not sure. He seems very observant of the behavior of others. Almost like he's hypersensitive of cause and effect. HOWEVER, while he may see that when I do "x", Mom does "y", he doesn't necessarily understand that "x" CAUSED the "Y". (does that make sense?)

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LeeJo · Posted: October 30 2007, 9:24 AM Post subject:

Leah, yes, I see that a lot. He sees that the two happen together, but cannot figure out what the relationship is, and is utterly clueless to the concept of being able to affect the when I do "x", Mom does "y". It's just a string of events set into motion that tumbles the same way every time.

To speak to the effect Christopher's behavior would have on a marriage, it would be trying to be certain. To get to your wits end with your child multiple times daily puts a strain into your life that will effect the marriage.

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Tom · Posted: October 30 2007, 10:07 AM Post subject:

That to me is the oddest thing with Christopher's behavior. He knows that what he is doing is likely to get his parents upset but he feels compelled to do it anyway. This fits in well with what we know about Asperger's and autism; that the person with the condition has trouble controlling their own behavior even though they "know" that it will hurt someone else. I like that Christopher doesn't try to justify these things. He just does them. He is the way he is and that is all there is to it.

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LeeJo · Posted: October 30 2007, 10:26 AM Post subject:

I find the Siobhan character very interesting. She seems to be even more influential to Christopher than his parents or other "closer" people. I want very badly to know more about her.

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ecki · Posted: October 31 2007, 7:14 AM Post subject:

I love Siobhan. I hope my kids find someone like her to work with in school!

As to the parents' marriage, I'm sure all the behavioral problems would cause a lot of strain. As far as Christopher goes, he understands the BIG emotions, but the subtleties he doesn't get. So he gets that Father is sad, but I don't think he gets beyond that surface emotion -- such as disappointment, fear, frustration, and everything else that goes along with having a child with a disability.

I also don't think he gets WHY his Father is so upset over Mother having had an affair. He knows that you're not supposed to "do sex" with someone else, but he's not capable of understanding the deep betrayal that it represents.

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jennifergg · Posted: November 01 2007, 1:10 PM Post subject:

Oh I love the Sioban character too, and I think it's interesting that she was mentioned in this discussion point about the parents. Because in a lot of ways, she seems more like the parent.

I don't know about marital strain. I do think there seems to be a popular opinion that having a child with special needs puts strain on a marriage, so I understand why the author made this choice for his character's family. And I understand too, how important this all becomes later in the book (I won't give anything away here!)

The point about X action and Y result is a very interesting one, too. It didn't bother me...I just accepted the fact that the connection was not being made. I wonder, if I were reading the book before I'd become Avery's mom, if that would have been a stumbling block for me. Now, I know that there are many different ways of learning, and different styles too, and they're not all the same as mine. So I think I am much more open to the idea of taking something like this at face value, and accepting it.

Interesting to think about, to be sure!

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Tom · Posted: November 01 2007, 1:49 PM Post subject:

One big coincidence is that the last chapter I specified for the first week is chapter 97. Chapter 97 is critical to the story and reveals important information that becomes more obvious later in the story.

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LeeJo · Posted: November 01 2007, 5:11 PM Post subject:

Some serious foreshadowing! Cool

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jlarson · Posted: November 08 2007, 12:12 AM Post subject: Mother and Father

I think in this respect he is like any other kid thinking that it is always their fault when parents divorce. On the other hand it would be a really hard road to travel, but NO WAY would I be gone!

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