Guilty as charged, I freely admit I was hasty to judge and who am I to say what is wrong or right. LOL .I was acting on emotion rather than a pragmatic perspective. Nevertheless I do not agree with having it done, but do understand that a parent may also become emotionally blinkered and do it out of love.

We absolutely adore Lana just the way she is and we wouldn't want to change anything about her... unless she came to us as an adult and asked for it (whatever it maybe) for good reason. We would have to hear her out and then make our decision.

My personal experience would lead me to give into her request due to me not liking a couple of things about myself. Once I did something about it I felt so much better about myself.

So if she wanted it, I'm sure we would support her request.

Jayne I completely agree with you. We can love our children and our children can have the best life possible without having their faces changed. If we change their faces, what is that saying about us as parents? That WE do not accept our children as God has given them to us. We are the advocates here and it's up to us to make the world see our children the way that we do and accept our children just the way they are. Changing a child's face does not take away the Down syndrome, it's there for life.

I want to start by saying that I know where your thinking is coming from. I think as a parent you don't want to see your child get "picked" on and would do anything to avoid that hurt. You immediately try and think of ways to make them look like everyone else. It is not bad of you to think this, you love your child. We were there...we had those thoughts too.

Then it happens, they look into your eyes and need you and you can give them everything they need right now. You see those eyes smile for the first time or close with glee when they laugh. You may say to yourself "Why can't others see that? Why do they only see the ds?" They don't! I have had more people tell me how beautiful Natalie's eyes are (specifically). Here I am thinking "why does she have to be different" and strangers are complimenting the exact things I was afraid would make her stand out. They do make her stand out! They are part of who she is and a part of how she expresses herself and she is beautiful! It is ok to look different. Changing the shape of their eyes won't take away the DS. They will grow up and realize they are different at some point. I think it is our job to teach them that they are different, we all are. I am really short. I wouldn't go to lengths to make myself taller. I overcame it with personality and taught people how I expected to be treated. I learned to have a sense of humor about it instead of feeling sorry for myself. It is part of what defines me. Our children can do the same and they will be stronger and more tolerant in the end.

I could not look Natalie in the face and tell her I changed something about her. I am the one person in the world that does and always will/should see her as perfection. How would I explain that she was perfect enough for me but not for the rest of the world?

Please do not feel like you are being bashed on here. I truely do see that you are approaching this from the heart with concern for your child. People are going to have strong reactions to this question but I am sure I am not the only one that let it flash through my mind when we first found out. Take our opinions to heart as we care for you and your child too and don't want to see you make a mistake that you could someday regret. Teach them to love themselves and if someone else won't give them the time of day because they look different then do you really consider their opinion anyway?

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here's the 'angel eyes' thread that Stephanie was looking to post here;

http://www.downsyn.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?t=10293&highlight=angel+eyes

aj

What, and eye surgery in adult hood isn't deemed a harsh thing to do , that's precisely why I gave a so called harsh response. It was worrying to read comments discussing eye surgery as if it was like having a tooth extracted and what sort of impression would that give. Any surgery has risks physically and psychologically, furthermore I wasn't making a personal comment to you. Shall we agree to disagree.

X-post.

Okay guys. I'd really like to NOT trash this post.

Try to keep your points non personal...unless you are being NICE That's all Tom says...Be Nice. Its fine to be opinionated...even passionate about your opinion.

Tom and Michele created this forum as a support forum...not one for debate. If you want to debate the virtues or evils of plastic surgery you need to take the argument to the PM's or IMs or another forum. There are forums designed for debates just as this.


It's NOT fine to take someone else's opinion and trash it. Try to keep your comments non personal.


Please also remember, this is the Internet. We can't see one another or hear one another. We may virtually be in the same room but not literally and words can easily be taken out of context. Its easy to jump to conclusions and misinterpret someone's intent because tone, volume, body language and all the other subtleties of human communication are missing.

We are bound to disagree. We come from different countries, religions, cultures, races, politics, ...to just name a few things. What binds us together in this lovely forum is our concern, love and support of children and adults with down syndrome.

When a topic greatly concerns you, state your opinion and move on. This is my humble opinion. But one thing I've learned after 2 years, and over 5000 posts. (and having read probably 10x that many and not posted) is that you will NOT change anyone's opinion on something like this. Save your passion and energy to responding to the new parents who are hurting and struggling with the diagnosis.

I don't know if any of you have read this: an article on plastic surgery for people with Down Syndrome

http://www.ds-health.com/psurg.htm

I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I think our children and people with down syndrome are beautiful physically.

I was told about this the first time I took Alexis to the DS Clinic. I was told many people do it but I dont think I would do this and I told the doctor that when he told my husband and I about it. I love the way Alexis looks but when she gets older and that is something she wants to do I will stand by her but not till she is like adult age.


Also what Amy wrote was very well said and I so agree with you not to knock each other.