As some of you know already, my sister has been the one person in my life who hasn't accepted my son because he has Down syndrome. For the most part, we don't communicate much, except I try to send Christmas and Birthday cards and gifts to her and my nephew. Generally speaking I never hear whether or not she liked the gifts, so I thought that on her next birthday (in January), rather than send a "gift", I would make a donation in her name to either the NDSS or the Special Olympics and she will get a card from the organization telling her that a gift has been made in her name.

I'm not doing it to be mean, but as she doesn't seem to appreciate the gifts I give her anyway, I figure it is a good way to bring "acceptance" to her attention and at the same time, a worthy cause will benefit from money that would have otherwise been wasted on some other gift. She may even realize that she has a very special nephew that she has been missing out on.

What do you think? Too heavy-handed??

Sandy - my initial thought is yea, that's a good idea. but i need to think about this some more - will reply again later. it's a shame how many people miss out on the 'good stuff'! aj

I cannot believe that your sister treats you and your son this way. It makes me so sad.

I think the donation is a GREAT idea and if she says anything then you know to not doing anything at all for her in the coming year.

While your at it, send her a mass card. One where it says, "My church is praying for you to gain acceptance into your heart" (I am ssuming you belong to a church, sorry)....thats if the donation doesn't work....but I think it is a good idea! Good luck and keep us posted!

I think not sending anything is a better message in a way. Donating money on her behalf means you are thinking about her. If you don't send her anything, maybe she'll get the hint that you aren't going to aknowledge her like she doesn't aknowledge her beautiful nephew.

okay - i think you should do this instead of not sending anything or things that you don't even know she's keeping/using - that way she knows that you do still love her and accept her even though she's not being accepting or supportive of you and Sammy. praying that she'll come around one day - God bless you, aj

I think it's an excellent idea. Of course, I just found my "wonderful" brother in law's wife let my neices open their Christmas presents I gave them last year) a few weeks ago. She only did it because my BIL was out of town and wouldn't know. She may be throwing the gifts in the trash.

You might donate to a charity that you know she appreciates rather than your own. That might get the point and still be something she would appreciate. This way she may just have a reason to not get it if she feels like she is being pushed. Either way she is missing out by being a jerk.

Kayla

I think a donation to a charity is a wonderful idea. We have family members that are the same way. Donating money to a charity whichever one would benefit someone ya know.

These closed minded people just don't know what they are missing out on!

WE are the LUCKY ones!