DownSyn Forum

jennifergg · Posted: October 18 2006, 4:37 PM Post subject: MKD: David Henry's photography

In The Memory Keeper's Daughter:

I thought this hobby, or passion, of his was particularly well-chosen. I think of photographers as people who stand back from life, often, to observe it. And also as people who are fascinated by surface appearances.

Henry's decision to tell his wife their baby girl died was based on just that--a prediction of a life based on the surface appearance of this daughter.

And yet he spends the rest of his life struggling with the deeper meanings, of her, and of his life and decisions, as well.

I thought this was wonderful and added a layer of sadness to his life, for me. I was prepared to dislike him, but in the end, I felt a bit sorry for him.

What are other people thinking about David Henry?

_________________
Jennifer Graf Groneberg

Suz · Posted: October 19 2006, 5:44 PM Post subject:

I didn't like him. But after he made the initial decision about Phoebe, there was no going back as far as he was concerned.

The thing is - he COULD have told Norah the truth - he COULD have tracked down Phoebe. But it was his dumb pride that kept him from telling the truth.

He was a prideful man. He knew what was right for his wife. He was in a sense controlling his wife with this information.

How could it be better to tell your wife that your baby had DIED than she was ALIVE - no matter the disability? He saw his wife mourn so deeply her entire life for her daughter, but could not put his own feelings of pride aside to alleviate her pain.

jooniper · Posted: October 19 2006, 5:55 PM Post subject:

As far as liking David Henry--I am indifferent. Throughout the book I did not think about liking him or not. I am just glad that Kim Edwards wrote this book and that there was a character like David. There are still so many "Davids" in the world. Seeing his misery and the consequences of his actions as opposed to Caroline's joy in Phoebe is astoundingly powerful and I think, something that people will be able to wrap their heads around.

_________________
Gillian
wife to Sergei and mom to Elaina ( Cool

, Zoya (6) and Polina (2 1/2 DS)
http://lintofpocket.wordpress.com/

queenk · Posted: October 20 2006, 4:53 PM Post subject:

I felt sorry for him, even though I don't excuse his decision. (same with Nora.)

I felt that he was "ever seeking, and never able to come to a knowledge of the truth." He was trying to capture, with his camera, to transcend surfaces and discover the essence of things-- which is the very capacity he might have gained had Phoebe remained in his home. As it was, he could only catch glimpses of raw beauty secondhand, through a lens. He could never touch it or feel it.

_________________
Kathryn Lynard Soper
Mother of Thomas (DS) 10/2005
Sam - 2003
Matt - 2001
Christine - 1999
Andrew - 1997
Ben - 1994
Elizabeth - 1993

Author of The Year My Son and I Were Born: A Story of Down Syndrome, Motherhood, and Self-Discovery

Editor of GIFTS and GIFTS 2

Suz · Posted: October 20 2006, 5:56 PM Post subject:

Yes, I think David stopped feeling a long time ago. Interesting how he dropped his legal last name - he almost created a person who barely existed.

A man who could give to his patients, but not to his own family.

He was the antagonist for me, although the secret morphed into a character in itself in the book, don't you think?

queenk · Posted: October 20 2006, 5:59 PM Post subject:

ooh--yes!

like the ring in Tolkien.

great observation!

_________________
Kathryn Lynard Soper
Mother of Thomas (DS) 10/2005
Sam - 2003
Matt - 2001
Christine - 1999
Andrew - 1997
Ben - 1994
Elizabeth - 1993

Author of The Year My Son and I Were Born: A Story of Down Syndrome, Motherhood, and Self-Discovery

Editor of GIFTS and GIFTS 2

jennifergg · Posted: October 20 2006, 6:25 PM Post subject:

I love this idea of the secret becoming a character. I agree! It feels as if the deception takes on a life of it's own. And if any, any one of the characters involved could have mustered the courage to "face it down," that character, in my mind, would have been the true hero or heroine.

_________________
Jennifer Graf Groneberg

ME's mom · Posted: October 20 2006, 9:17 PM Post subject:

I felt sorrow and pity for him. I felt disgusted with him at first, but that disgust turned to pity, and then on to sorrow. What he lost. What his nurse gained. What a pitiful existance. What a waste of life. So, no I did not hate him, he was too pathetic to hate.

ImperfectMe · Posted: October 23 2006, 1:40 PM Post subject:

I didn't hate David. I didn't think he was pathetic or immoral. I think he may have given his daughter up for his own protection and not necessarily for that of his wife's, but what would have happened had he raised the child and pitied her for her entire life? What if he had been unable to love her as he did his son? What if the best option for Phoebe WAS to be raised by Caroline?

I am very protective of parents who give up their children with DS. Being on the receiving end of one such adoption, I know there are good reasons. I know in some cases it can be the right thing to do. It's not always a "bad" thing to decide to give your child up for adoption.

_________________
CJ
Mom to:
B (10/96)
E (06/04: DS)
? (EDD: 11/10)

Little Miss Emmalee
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