Hi Jennifer,

I've been reading over the posts this morning and wanted to reply, but I
can't seem to log in to be allowed to do that. So, I'm just going to
write some thoughts and hope you'll be able to post them as part of the
conversation. I really appreciate so much all the comments and thoughtful observations people have made about The Memory Keeper's Daughter. I especially LOVED the idea that the secret became a character too--that's one perception I had never heard before, but I think it's really true. The secret has its own life and it changes everyone else's life in this story.

I was initially drawn to this idea because of the secret, in fact. And
yet I didn't think I'd ever write this book, because I didn't know
anything about Down syndrome and I wasn't sure I could write a character who was realistically and sympathetically portrayed without being sentimentalized. So I didn't do anything with this idea for several
years, not until I was invited to do a writing workshop with a group of
adults with various kinds of mental challenges. I went, not knowing what
to expect, and we had a wonderful day. I really enjoyed the group, and
they made a very strong impression on me.

So I started thinking about this book idea again. And I started, very
tentatively, asking questions of parents who had raised or were raising
children with DS. I want to tell your group how scared I was to do this.
I was really afraid of saying the wrong thing, and of intruding on an
aspect of life I didn't know anything about. And I am so appreciative of
those people who so generously spoke to me and who were so patient with my questions.

I didn't start this book with any sort of agenda. I think as an artist
you can't go into a work with a political stance, or you'll force the
characters to do what you want rather than to let them take on their own
lives. Yet at the same time, the more I talked to people, the more
important it became to me to create a realistic and sympathetic character
in Phoebe--an individual, not a stereotype. I deliberately didn't get too
close to any individual with DS while researching, but I tried to watch
closely and read a great deal so that as Phoebe came to life she would seem real and three dimensional and convincing.

The most anxious moments of finishing this book were when I sent it to the parents who had helped me to see what they thought about what I'd written. (This was more nerve-wracking than sending the manuscript to publishers!) I really held my breath on that. It was such a wonderful affirmation when they began to call to say that they liked it.

The novel really is fiction: I've been married for almost 19 years, and I
don't have any personal experience with adoption. Though I think adoption is a really important consideration in this book, and I think that
Caroline is certainly complicit in the secret, too, even though she acts
more heroically than David.

As for David, I found him sympathetic, stuck in that grief over the loss
of his sister, shaped by attitudes toward both Down syndrome and toward
grieving that were common at the time. I didn't admire what he did, but I
didn't think he was evil. Some readers wish that he had lived to face the
consequences of his actions, but my own feeling is that the secret
burdened him deeply all his life. And sometimes, in life, you just run
out of time to do the thing you always mean to do. I was surprised, in fact, when the story took that direction--I didn't plot it out. But it seemed natural and right to this story, once it happened.

In the end, I think being a parent myself was what I drew on most in
creating Phoebe.

Thanks so much to all who wrote in. I'd be happy to answer more
questions, if they come up. And I have a website at
www.memorykeepersdaughter.com if people want to read more.

Warm wishes,

Kim
>

_________________
Jennifer Graf Groneberg

That's really great that she took the time to read our posts and respond. That's a woman who truly cares about her job as an author and the people she reaches through it.

_________________
CJ
Mom to:
B (10/96)
E (06/04: DS)
J (09/05: DS)

Wow, what a fabulous response from Kim Edwards!

It was so well-written that I had to shake my head to remember - oh yeah - this woman WRITES for a living (and it shows).

I wasn't surprised that she had contact with parents of kids with Ds, nor that she had met some people with Ds in her travels. She obviously took what she learned from those experiences and incorporated them, totally seamlessly, into the book.

And it is people with Ds that teach the most to others, which why it is so important that our kids be involved in schools and the community.

The only part that made me upset reading the book was the birth scene. But that was b/c it reminded me of finding out about Aaron's diagnosis, and how the medical community strips you of any hope you may have had about your baby. And babies are supposed to be all about hopes and dreams.

David Henry even went one step further and took the actual baby away from his wife - so she had nothing left except for grief. He stripped her of the baby and left her with the grief. As parents of babies with Ds, we do get over our grief and that is because we have our babies to hold in our arms. And as I've written about before - Aaron would not allow me to stay stuck in my grief...

I am wringing my hands that I wrote something inappropriate in my various posts - I had totally forgotten that the author was going to be reading them! Oh well, she got raw, uncensored feedback!

Thanks to Jennifer for setting this up - it is TOO COOL that Kim Edwards read our posts. (You rock, Jennifer. Kim does too).

Thank you for the thanks. I really appreciate it.
And no worries. Kim assured me that she has been all over the country this summer speaking to different people about her book, and she said she's heard it all. Except for the "secret" character, which was all yours, Suz.

Thanks also to everyone who posted here. We were trying something new and it's always a bit scary to be the first. I really appreciate everyone jumping in with me.

Happy reading, everyone!

_________________
Jennifer Graf Groneberg