Michelle's post shares her feelings about the adoption relationship in the story; one of my posts shows my feelings about the twin relationship in the book.

Which other family relationships, and there are many (marriage, mother/daughter, mother/son, father/son, to name a few) are people relating to?

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Jennifer Graf Groneberg

I could relate to Caroline and her strong advocacy and protective feelings for Phoebe.

I could also relate to Norah in her loveless marriage. She was shouting out for her husband to notice her - hence her drinking, extravagant dinner parties, affairs, focus on her job. But David was so busy burying himself in work and his photography that he stopped noticing that she was there.

That Kim Edwards must have gone thru a marriage break up herself - for she nailed the feelings involved in that dead-on.

I related to the marriage based on nothing solid--that was my parents' marriage. Both members needy and desperate but unable (or unwilling) to connect with each other.

I related to the emotionally withdrawn father. I'll bet I'm not the only one!

I related to Nora's self-destructive behavior too. When I'm unhappy in my relationships I'm all too willing to abdicate my responsibility to myself, the other person, and everyone else involved, and just live my self-pity.

I related to Paul's rage--his bitter disappointment in his mother and his deep hurt regarding his father's failure to nurture him.

To me, the most intriguing relationship in the book was David's attachment to Rosemary. Anyone else fascinated by how all that unfolded?

Also, I LOVED how the author handled Nora's meeting with Phoebe. The assumption that of course, her daughter would willingly leave her home and come with this strange woman... and then Phoebe's very cautious response. This may sound silly, but I get so many people who come up to Thomas seeming to expect him to be so happy to see them. As if kids with DS will love anyone for no apparent reason. Now, I know that Nora's hasty invitation was very different from this...her mother-desperation warranted her lack of restraint, in my view. But still, the dynamic was very satisfying to me. People with DS know their homes, their families. They're not just blindly happy/oblivious people whose relationships and surroundings are interchangeable. Know what I mean?

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Kathryn Lynard Soper
Mother of Thomas (DS) 10/2005
Sam - 2003
Matt - 2001
Christine - 1999
Andrew - 1997
Ben - 1994
Elizabeth - 1993

Author of The Year My Son and I Were Born: A Story of Down Syndrome, Motherhood, and Self-Discovery



Editor of GIFTS and GIFTS 2

Yes, that flies in the face of the 'happy all the time' stereotype placed on people with Down syndrome.

I appreciated how Kim Edwards took the time to address some of those stereotypes and portrayed Phoebe as an independent thinking person.