What are your favorite scenes in the book? When did you find yourself completely identifying with the story, or the writing?

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Jennifer Graf Groneberg

The line that most changed my life is John's accusal of Martha: "Why can't you love him just because he's a little boy?"

I fell apart when I first read that. I realized how conditional my love was for others, esp. my husband and children. I was always trying to change them, fix them, make them be what would best suit my needs. Ever since, I've been mindful of that weakness of mine. I strive to break through my selfishness and access the pure love that, I believe, dwells within each of us.

The close runner-up is Adam's line to John, when John envisions the plight of humanity in the form of an airplane wreck. Then he sees the wreckage transforming into a scene of progress, of positive motion. Adam tells him, "It's not so bad. You just don't understand how it works."

Okay, that is incredibly profound. I think so much of our suffering is based on a value system that's grounded in temporary, earthly ways of thinking. We don't understand what's going on here. I firmly believe that someday we will understand why things were the way they were, and we'll see all the goodness that comes out of our painful experiences. All that we've gained through our losses.

Fave scenes--so hard to pick! Every scene with Adam. My #1 is the very last page, when Adam rejoices over his dolphin ride. I still get chills just thinking about it. The emotion in that image is so strong--esp. the "triumphant shout." This kind of joy is what we're made for.

I also love the dream scene, when the adult Adam hands M the paper she's looking for. I feel that my Thomas plays this same role in my life--gives me exactly what I most need but can't find on my own.

I also LOVE the testing scene, when Adam plays dumb. And the sky tram scene. These show such sophistication on Adam's part. I was impressed with his awareness and sensitivity. Made me realize much more is going on inside of people than we can guess at, esp. people we assume to be unintelligent.

In fact, the whole book changed the way I view intelligence. Adam's "relationship alphabet" is the perfect example. Letters, for him, have meaning because they represent loved ones. This is supreme intelligence, to live life according to love.


Other parts that delighted me:

The smurf pool scene, when M realizes she's not the only one faking it at Harvard. "Smurf is a good man."

The description of the bells sounding on Easter morning.

And I still laugh out loud when I read the refrigerator-magnet phrases M and J come up with.

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Kathryn Lynard Soper

mother of Thomas (DS) 10/2005
Sam - 2003
Matt - 2001
Christine - 1999
Andrew - 1997
Ben - 1994
Elizabeth - 1993

When I was first thinking about this question, I was sure my favorite was the sky tram scene. Lots of reviews, and book discussions, bring out the rose in the bud vase, or the batteries, or the smelling bushes scenes. These are all wonderful, and beautiful on their own. But the sky tram scene left me with the strongest impression at the time.

But now I have to change my mind...I think the current favorite, for me, is the relationship alphabet. How could I have forgotten it! I like it too because it reminds me very much of our own Avery, who is learning the alphabet now. He likes H when it's for HUG, K for KISS, D when its for DANCE. So I guess Avery's is an actions-alphabet.

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Jennifer Graf Groneberg

I liked the scene where Adam gives Martha a rose and says "here." I also liked the scene where the man at the plant nursery tells her how Adam was sniffing the soil and then says "My son is 23 years old."

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Jennifer
Mom to Nicholas (3/31/05)DS
And Baby June (6/29/06)

I liked the scene that included Adam in his room, writing a love song and playing it on his guitar. I was looking for "normal" when I read the book.

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Gillian
wife to Sergei and mom to Elaina (7), Zoya (5 1/2) and Polina (04/05/06 DS)

It's been a few months since I read the book, but the parts that stick out the most are the ones where she was pregnant, dealing with the diagnosis and dealing with holding it all together as the pregnancy went on. The parts that I recall the clearest are of the most desperate times she experiences, which ties into the thread regarding why her emotions are strung out throughout the book while her husband's are given in one 7-page clump.

Her bleeding on the bed and dragging her daughter behind her being so lost over child care are the most colorful images that have stuck with me. Her mourning over the diagnosis was powerful to me and helped me understand a lot of what many of you have gone through. While I have mourned for my girls, it's been in a very different manner than many of you due to the fact that they are adopted.

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CJ
Mom to:
B (10/96)
E (06/04: DS)
J (09/05: DS)