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Is my child the ONLY one who gets in trouble daily at school


 
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hannah
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PostPosted: September 09 2010, 3:35 PM    Post subject:
Is my child the ONLY one who gets in trouble daily at school
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Hannah has been in Kindergarten for 3wks now. Daily I get reports of her spitting, sticking her tongue out, laughing and jumping up when in time out. She's disruptive of the other kids.

She's a smart little girl but her behavior is TERRIBLE at school. I don't have near the trouble they do at school. Today I get a report that she emptied all the stuffing out of the beanbag chair then put her head in it and threw it around with her hands when the teacher went to get a broom.

I need reassurance that there are other kids out there like this. I feel like her behavior is holding her back and I don't see how even a one on one aide would help. We are getting a behavior evaluation through the school in the next couple of weeks.

I keep thinking her behavior will get better the older she gets but am beginning to doubt it. Looking back she's always been like this..

Please tell me I'm not alone!!!!!!!!! Sad

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burnsun
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PostPosted: September 09 2010, 3:49 PM    Post subject:
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nope....... I get them everyday with Colin and Eiza and one or too times with Melea. Devon is in an completely different setting and Miranda is an angel!

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hannah
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PostPosted: September 09 2010, 3:54 PM    Post subject:
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thanks Jane! Do you feel like their behavior is holding them back?? That's how I feel with Hannah

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grantsmom1
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PostPosted: September 09 2010, 3:55 PM    Post subject:
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You are not alone! I think getting an evaluation of her behavior is the best bet. Hopefully they can identify what is causing the behaviors and the best way to handle it. We've got that on our list of things to do, too!

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burnsun
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PostPosted: September 09 2010, 4:10 PM    Post subject:
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WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL Confused

somedays.....YES......somedays NO!!!!!!! Some times I feel that if our life at home is going great.....they are separate places and their behavior is not reflective of how good or bad a parent I am...... but then there are days I FEEL LIKE CRAP and just want my kid to be the fun nice one (oh that is Miranda..... I have raised my voice to her just once in her life......and her new teacher can not even imagine her doing anything disruptive!)

I just have had to let it go....... we discuss it at home,,,,, I take COlin back all the time to apologize he sits int he time out chair for 10 minutes any day I have more bad class period than good (he has 13 disting time periods) and neither they or school has found any reason for his behavior or why it is so inconsistent....he has completely intrigues the BAT team~!

Try not to get down and realize many times I think little things get noticed and noted that other kids are better at hiding or teachers do not see because of the DS.......

however I would make her go back and clean up the chair and replace it with her money if it was Colin but he is 9 and is starting to get the your money and his money!

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Melea Isabelle(2/13/02) DS
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Eliza Marisol (5/15/04) DS
Miranda Olivia (2/1/05) DS & Partial Complex Seisure Disorder & iratractable epilepsy
Jordan Alexander(3/17/2007)
Emerson James (1/08/2009) 33 week preemie


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marlene
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PostPosted: September 09 2010, 4:37 PM    Post subject:
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Beth, hugs to you! The beginning of kindergarten was HARD for us, too! I cried weekly for probably the first 6 weeks! Here is the link to my kindergarten woes (just so you know your child is NOT the only one)!

http://www.downsyn.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?p=458175&highlight=#458175

The year did get better - never perfect, but better! There are just so many adjustments to make and our kids take a long time to find their place among the typical kids, I think. Again, this year, Aleena is having adjustment problems. It's hard. Hugs, again!

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Katrina
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PostPosted: September 09 2010, 5:22 PM    Post subject:
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We're in pre k and I get daily reports, Peyton hit at the(ma ma ) retired old lady that comes in the class to give hugs and wipe noses, pushed at one little boy and kicked at another. When I had a meeting with the teacher at the start of the yr my one goal was appropriate behavior for Peyton. They want my input daily about how to handle him. I want him told at the time he does it what he is doing wrong and not to do it again. short sentences so that he understands what they want. ( Hit no , Play nice etc... So in other words Hannah is not alone. Good luck and Hugs
Katrina

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logansmom
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PostPosted: September 09 2010, 5:35 PM    Post subject:
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I was actually called by phone and asked to come to school on Logan's first day of Kindergarten. He's now in 1st grade (after two years of Kindy) and it's sssssoooooooo much better . . . but it's definitely not perfect.

We now use a chart at school where he and the paraprofessional circle happy, medium or sad faces for different parts of the day (circle time, special, centers, lunch, recess, etc.). If he gets "all happys," he gets 2 stickers at home that add up toward picking from the treasure chest (and lots and lots of praise). If he gets all mediums and happys, he gets 1 sticker. If he gets any sad faces, he loses his Leapster/iPod privileges for the afternoon/evening.

We started this system in the late fall/early winter of his first year of Kindergarten. At first, he received "treasure chest" for all happys rather than stickers toward treasure chest. The stickers system (10 stickers = treasure chest or $1) started in the spring during his 2nd year of Kindy.

Please know you're not alone. Our system doesn't stop all of the negative behaviors, but for our son it does help. You may have to experiment to find out why she's acting up and what can help encourage her behavior to improve. If this continues for very long, you can also request an FBA (functional behavior assessment?) where they'll look at triggers for behavior and try to develop a behavior plan.

Keep us posted - we all help each other!

Kim

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kellyrimmer
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PostPosted: September 10 2010, 10:00 AM    Post subject:
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NOPE!!! Alexis has her times also but we put her in pre-k. She wasnt ready for kindergarden. Alexis trys to tell the teachers what to do. Very Very stubborn child. You have to make everything seem like her idea or she will question why she has to do it

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burnsun
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PostPosted: September 10 2010, 10:30 AM    Post subject:
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trying not to laugh Kelly cause I have 7 of those type of children.....everything has to be their idea!!!!!!!!!!!!! Very Happy

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4littlelambs
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PostPosted: September 10 2010, 11:26 AM    Post subject:
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Firstly, NO you're not alone.
Second, I haven't read any other responses so please forgive if I repeat.
Third, what is going on at school that could be causing this?
Forth, how are her communication skills?

3 & 4 obviously go hand in hand. Josh acts naughty when he wants something and doesn't know how to ask for it, when he doesn't know how to involve himself with other children, when he simply cannot communicate. If she's having trouble communicating effectively, she's probably just trying ANYTHING that gets her attention. You know... negative attention is better than no attention at all (which is SO NOT unique to special needs kids).

When Josh began acting up in kindergarten, his teacher (who has nearly raised a niece with DS) felt that he wasn't doing it to be naughty (even tho the things he was doing WERE naughty... he was pushing, tripping and kicking, pulling hair, etc.). She took a whole day and just watched him... and she had his one on one do the same thing... and they noticed that the times he was doing this were times when he wasn't being included, or when he was working on school work but needed a break, or when he was being expected to sit in circle for 30 minutes while she read... stuff like that. There was always a REASON behind him acting out.

Now... that's not to say it's OKAY... but it prompted us to be on top of these things and not let them get to the point of him lashing out. We used lots of 1st/then. If he was working on academics and started acting out... his aide would say "okay, 1st you finish this very last problem and then we'll go to the gym for 5 minutes". That way... he wasn't 'winning' because she was in control (finishing 1 more problem) but he was being rewarded for doing something 1st... THEN he got to do something he loved.

For kicking friends and things... we DID make him say sorry but then would ask questions like "Josh, did just want Owen's attention? Do you want Owen to play on the racetrack with you? (or swing? or whatever the friend was doing that Josh kicked). Sometimes he would sit quietly and choose not to apologize for a looong time but we NEVER let him just start playing or working without that apology. After a while, the apologies came more quickly.

This is long and I'd be happy to share more examples of what has worked for Josh... getting stickers for complying... earning M&M's, earning time to shoot hoops with a friend of his choice... lots of things. And not one thing worked all the time... they would try til they found something he really wanted and were constantly changing it up.

Anyway... I think you should look at WHY she's acting out, etc. Especially because you're not having issues at home... there's obviously something going wrong in her day. It could be something as simple as she's not the center of attention like at home... but 1st/then works great for that too... and positive reinforcement... always positive. His teacher made a rule in the classroom with her aides and such that nobody was allowed to say NO to Josh unless it was an emergency (danger situation). I had a hard time with this at 1st because I didn't want him 'spoiled'... if you never say no to a kid they feel entitled to everything... BUT, it worked so well for him. They would distract or say "let's do this instead" or something... that way... NO was REALLY serious and not just something they said all the time (because Josh is constantly doing things he shouldn't be doing, lol).

Wow... I typed a book. Can you tell we've had lots of experience with this??? lol

Susan & Josh
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hannah
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PostPosted: September 10 2010, 12:40 PM    Post subject:
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Thanks so much for the responses! I'm glad Hannah is not the only one.

Marlene.....I read your link! I have a communication book for the Teacher and I dread looking at it because EVERY single day is a negative comment. NOT one positive note is in it. It's just like you said in your link. I'm hoping it'll get better but looking back she's always been like this. Even when she was 2yrs old she was into trouble at her Early Intervention classroom!

Kim....like your son, Hannah also responds well to happy and sad faces. I mentioned this to her Teacher.

Kelly....LOL, I can picture Alexis to the teachers!

Susan...thank you so much for the info. I plan on sharing some of your ideas with the teacher. I don't think she has a concrete reward system for Hannah. I feel she needs to find something besides the timeout chair..as Hannah is getting the attention for her negative behavior.

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Shawn's mommy
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PostPosted: September 11 2010, 9:53 PM    Post subject:
Getting in Trouble
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I can't believe I found this topic.. I was just coming on DS to ask the same question.. Shawn has been in trouble almost everyday.. I have been a worried mess. I never thought I would have this kind of problem with him. We actually changed schools this year thinking that if we found a smaller private school that was more equipped to deal with his behavior we would be doing good. Well I am not sure what I was thinking. He truly is pushing their buttons. His teachers puts him in time out which is just a chair and he kicks the wall. He will try to push his teacher to get a reaction out of her. He will refuse to do his work. There are only 4 students in his class. Of course he is the terror!!! Everyday I dread picking him up. I would love to hear some advice from a parent who has already dealt with this..

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hannah
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PostPosted: September 12 2010, 1:03 PM    Post subject:
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Christy...Shawn sounds just like Hannah. She too is in a small class of only 4kids! With Hannah...when she's in timeout she'll laugh, stick out her tongue...all attention seeking behavior.

I too also dread picking her up because every single day is the same story.

If I found out anything that works, I'll share it!

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PostPosted: September 12 2010, 10:43 PM    Post subject:
Behavior..
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Thanks for responding.. Shawn also laughs at the teacher in timeout.. One day he decided to find his voice in the small bathroom they share with other classroom. He was yelling, laughing, because he could hear his voice echo, than he proceeded the unroll the toilet paper, and the paper towels.. needless to say Shawn is not allowed in the bathroom by himself. His teacher said "I pray for Shawn every day I knew from the moment I met him he was a special boy" Now what do you really think she was saying... If I come up with any positive ideas I will let you know. Lets just pray Shawn doesn't get his pink slip before that happens..

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happymom
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PostPosted: September 13 2010, 9:09 AM    Post subject:
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Love this post & all the responses!! Just a couple of questions. Are your kids in regular classrooms, or special-ed? If in a regular class, do they have a shadow/assistant & is the teacher a special ed teacher? I wonder if any of that makes a difference.

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PostPosted: September 13 2010, 9:21 AM    Post subject:
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Nate is reported to have good behavior at school but he has not been perfect. He did throw a matchbox car that hit another student in the head. The teachers have been quick to say it was not intentional and not entirely his fault as the boys were getting a little out of hand picking up the toys which ended up being throwing the cars into the basket. Nate does love throwing! So he did get a timeout.

Otherwise in the class I have been told he is making lots of noices with his mouth and we have noticed more at home too! I am think it is attention seeking behavior. It sucks not to have great language skills to quickly answer your classmates questions.

Does your daughter have any suppport in the classroom. Nate doesn't have a designated aide/assistant but there is pretty much one available to look out for him most of the day. His SPED teacher also does push in services for him so she is with him about 2 1/2 hours a day. If your daughter doesn't have this support just maybe you can suggest more support and I am betting this behavior will stop. Also, how are they handing the behavior because they actually may be rewarding and encouraging the behavior. It will take some time for the rules and if her teacher hasn't made those clear to your daughter it may be confusing. Maybe her SPED teacher can do some story boards for her?

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PostPosted: September 13 2010, 11:21 AM    Post subject:
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is Hannah still having sinus infection issues??? we just spent a little over a year dealing with constant bk 2 bk sinus infections and an abcess triggered the dr to think, huh? maybe this sinus stuff is stemming from MRSA since she has had several hospitalizations when younger. SO, a round of the 'RIGHT' antibiotic along with starting Manuka Honey, Juice Plus, and switching to soy milk for past 2 years, something has finally given Janna sinus relief this summer. although i won't brag too boldly as she is dealing with a lot of snot once again since starting K, but it does seem more like allergy/cold this time and not infection (i do pray!).

but, we can tell when she is not well as she is one irritable child and her answer for everything is 'No!' - even if she's eating her favorite meal - 'is that good Janna?' 'No!' as she shovels it in Laughing

so, just wondering if Hannah is still dealing with sinus junk and not feeling her best? could this be causing the behavior? i hope you find some answers soon. we take away Janna's favorite things to assist with discipline - maybe if they tell her at school that she cannot go outside and play with the class or paint or whatever it is she enjoys the most, she will rethink before acting??? they could set up a chart to show her that green lights/marks/strips earn her time with her favorite activities and the yellow/red lights/marks/strips count against her getting to have that time.

many, many hugs to you guys!

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hannah
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PostPosted: September 17 2010, 12:52 PM    Post subject:
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AJ...thankfully Hannah's allergies/sinus infections are under control as of now. She sounds a lot like Janna and will automatically say NO even if she means yes.

This week has shown some improvement as she's adjusting to the routine. Right now she's in a CDC classroom and spending time in the regular class and gradually working up to her whole day in the regular room.

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PostPosted: September 17 2010, 4:11 PM    Post subject:
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i too came on to post a new topic about this subject!!!! my 4 yo terror is guilty of running in the opposite direction and smiling and waving good-bye to them as he's doing it...daily. he gets time outs but so far not working. he does the exact same thing at home, and we default to threatening a spanking (we want to do better than this but that would require so much more energy- ykwim, right???). also, we're so used to just physically making him do what we need him to do, like if he runs away, we tell him to come back, he ignores, we go get him. again, DEFAULT. the easy thing to do....i guess i'll take this all as motivation to teach him the skill of following directions!!!!

there are lots of great ideas here! thank you everyone!

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PostPosted: September 18 2010, 3:59 PM    Post subject:
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One thing with Chloe is I have to be diligent to make sure that she gets her thyroid med in the morning 1 hr before eating. That makes all the difference in the world in her day. It really keeps her on an even keel as long as her day goes as scheduled . She doesn't do well with change.
If she has a new aid for the day forget it because she will not do well for them and then the next day she is mad at Ms Crystal for not being there the day before, (memory like an elephant) . She is a tender heart so she doesn't hit and kick at school, she just won't mind when things aren't as she likes them.
She had a new aid last week and she ran ahead of her into the room and held the door shut so she couldn't get in. She just does honory little things.

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PostPosted: September 20 2010, 6:06 PM    Post subject:
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Hey girl! We were just talked about this on our local group ... all the older parents recommend getting a FBA (functional behavior assessment) ... sounds like a great thing for everyone, no matter the level of behavior issues.

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