Heard a show yesterday on international adoption. Some expert was asked about the controversy regarding Madonna. She said she had never heard a Madonna song, nor knew much about her, but based on her knowledge of this latest story she thought it had to do with racism. She said had Madonna adopted a baby from an orphanage in Sweden there would be no uproar. Interesting and hard to prove. I think it's great what Madonna and Angelina Jolie have done. I don't understand the need to criticize or judge them. I wish i could do it, but for me it would be very difficult legally.
Anyway, this expert said the top countries for international adoption are first Russia and Eastern Europe, then Asia, then Latin America and finally Africa. She said #1 is because the majority of people want a baby that looks like them. Isn't that sad. Since i am adopted I have never gotten the enjoyment that people seem to get from knowing their offspring are genetically related to them. I grew up in a household where my parents were always discussing what relatives my sisters (they were not adopted)looked like. My in-laws are also obsessed with doing this parlor game - sometimes i want to ask - who inherited grandpa's alcoholism or grandma's ADHD?
So many people are so attached to their biology though. We know a childless couple who have struggled for years with fertility treatments. They would probably have a child by now if they adopted or used an egg donor. But they want the child and they want it to be their own. Why does it matter to them? In this age of sperm, egg and embryo donation I wonder how many families are going to tell their offspring. I know from the world of adoption that secrecy is not psycholoically a healthy option, i hope parents find a way to be honest. Though with adoption one of the best ways is to tell the baby their birth story from day one, I don't see many people telling their children about their donors from day one, and it's the type of thing that never goes well if you have it sprung on you.
I have now found both my birth parents and made contact with them. But that's a whole different blog entry at a different time.
I really wish more people would adopt the kids out there in the orphanages. The ones that aren't blond haired and blue eyed. The woman from the radio show talked about entering an orphanage in Ethiopia and the children surrounding her with smiles and kisses. She discribed them as "kisses you really felt, that lingered on you afterwards."
Good luck with your new son, Madonna.