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Eliza's secret life.

December 13 2006, 8:13 PM

Eliza goes to gymboree with her nanny every week. I always hear about how she loves it, loves the kids, the teachers etc. Last week she wore a pink dress (she usually doesn't wear dresses) and her nanny told me everyone was really excited by how beautiful she looked.

Well today I got to take her, as her nanny is off this month. I would imagine it's is kind of how arriving with a celebrity feels. The moment we walk in it's "Hello Eliza!" from the whole staff - and then one says "Eliza is blossoming". Other moms and nannies are saying hi and the other little kids all wave back and forth.

Eliza is totally engrossed the entire class. There is a lot happening. The theme this week is R&B and Eliza is grooving. People get excited with her every huge smile, when she does the hand motions, and when she signs more at the end of a song.

She does get upset at the end when we don't join the nannies and babes at Starbucks, as i guess this is a regular part of the post-gymboree routine. In fact she screamed the whole way home.

We do a playgroup with Easter Seals and Eliza never gets this excited. It is much slower paced, and maybe that's just not her speed.

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The first time he said "Down Syndrome"

November 30 2006, 12:49 PM

We have been talking to our son Walker about Down Syndrome pretty much since day two. He has played with many kids with Ds and hasn't really noticed a thing. He also has gone a couple of times to Eliza's Easter Seals playgroup which is all pre-walkers of which there is one other baby with Ds. All along the way we have asked Do You Have Any Questions about Down Syndrome? To which he has given that 4 year old blank stare of "Not really interested Mom." He has asked "Why doesn't Eliza walk?" or "Why does she go to the PT, ST etc."

Anyway, this weekend we were on a hike and out of the blue he starts telling a story about Sam. Same is a little boy with muscular dystrify in the ES playgroup. Eliza just loves Sam and he doesn't take his eyes off of her. She always crawls over and runs her fingers through his hair before she takes off for the ball pit.

Sam has this vacuum thing that sucks the saliva out of his mouth. It's very loud and fascinates all the babies, and Walker really is dying to get his hands on that thing. So, Walker is telling this story about Sam, and says "Sam has Down Syndrome." We try to explain that he doesn't, but Walker goes on to tell a story about three babies with Down Syndrome who are on a treasure hunt...

Janet and i look at each other. It's the first time he has said the words. He has been processing,but somewhere along the way i think he thinks everyone with anything "different" has Ds.

This morning Walker is reading National Geographic Kids when he shouts out "Look, a girl with Down Syndrome!" Sure enough there was a WONDERFUL article about a 16 year old. One for Eliza's positive article book for sure.

I ask him - How did you know she has Ds? Well she's different, he says. People are all different, in different ways - I'm trying to explain. I said, look at her beautiful eyes they look like your sisters. I really am trying to find the right words here.

"Eliza doesn't have Down Syndrome." Walker then says. "yes she does." I say. Then he starts naming off some other kids and if they have Ds or not.

The conversations will be starting. He is noticing the difference, when sometimes all i think of is the same. I always wanted to be honest with him, but sometimes i have to think about how he interprets things. He loves his sister so much that is one thing i know for sure, and he is Eliza's favorite person for sure.

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Madonna's new baby

October 26 2006, 3:00 PM

[  Mood: Happy ] [ Listening to Currently: Listening to  ]
Heard a show yesterday on international adoption. Some expert was asked about the controversy regarding Madonna. She said she had never heard a Madonna song, nor knew much about her, but based on her knowledge of this latest story she thought it had to do with racism. She said had Madonna adopted a baby from an orphanage in Sweden there would be no uproar. Interesting and hard to prove. I think it's great what Madonna and Angelina Jolie have done. I don't understand the need to criticize or judge them. I wish i could do it, but for me it would be very difficult legally.

Anyway, this expert said the top countries for international adoption are first Russia and Eastern Europe, then Asia, then Latin America and finally Africa. She said #1 is because the majority of people want a baby that looks like them. Isn't that sad. Since i am adopted I have never gotten the enjoyment that people seem to get from knowing their offspring are genetically related to them. I grew up in a household where my parents were always discussing what relatives my sisters (they were not adopted)looked like. My in-laws are also obsessed with doing this parlor game - sometimes i want to ask - who inherited grandpa's alcoholism or grandma's ADHD?

So many people are so attached to their biology though. We know a childless couple who have struggled for years with fertility treatments. They would probably have a child by now if they adopted or used an egg donor. But they want the child and they want it to be their own. Why does it matter to them? In this age of sperm, egg and embryo donation I wonder how many families are going to tell their offspring. I know from the world of adoption that secrecy is not psycholoically a healthy option, i hope parents find a way to be honest. Though with adoption one of the best ways is to tell the baby their birth story from day one, I don't see many people telling their children about their donors from day one, and it's the type of thing that never goes well if you have it sprung on you.

I have now found both my birth parents and made contact with them. But that's a whole different blog entry at a different time.

I really wish more people would adopt the kids out there in the orphanages. The ones that aren't blond haired and blue eyed. The woman from the radio show talked about entering an orphanage in Ethiopia and the children surrounding her with smiles and kisses. She discribed them as "kisses you really felt, that lingered on you afterwards."

Good luck with your new son, Madonna.

Posted By: elizasmom    13 Comments    (Post your comment)

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the tragic things that happen...

October 11 2006, 4:29 PM

[  Mood: Very Sad ]
I return to this as a part 2 to my other post. The mom i talked about previously just lost her baby boy. I guess lost isn't really the right word. She went in at 36 weeks because she hadn't felt moment in awhile and the baby had died. I just can't imagine her and her husband's pain. And the fact that they have a very confused 4 year old wondering what happened to his baby brother. 4 weeks to go! How can this happen in this day and age. And then you have to deliver your baby...I am seriously at a loss of words today.

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A What If Mood

September 12 2006, 5:29 PM

[  Mood: Distorted ] [ Working Currently: Working  ]
Today I ran into a woman at my son's school who i hadn't seen in awhile. She was very pregnant and when i asked her how she was doing she said "Only eight weeks to go!" Then it struck me. Her due date was the same as the one I had for my miscarriage. Had fate been different I would be standing there as huge (and cranky Laughing ) as she was. We would of been comparing notes. Eagerly awaiting our new little ones. We would probably have their name picked out. Their room ready. I know there are much worst things. My miscarriage was early, too early for me to really be attached to being pregnant much less to a baby inside. Do i even think of it as a baby? Did it have a soul? How many days did it's heart actually beat before nature stopped it. Maybe it never beat...

I guess it's not so much the loss for me as the fact that i haven't been able to get pregnant since then. It's frustrating to KNOW that soul is out there and feel like you have no patience at all left. But giving up is unimaginable.

Posted By: elizasmom    186 Comments    (Post your comment)

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About elizasmom

July 28 2005, 5:55 PM

Marin County, CA

Occupation:SAHMInterests: Family and friends, hiking, reading, movies, wine, cooking, nature


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September 12 2006, 3:09 PM
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