Hannah has no idea she has DS. It's not that we have kept it from her it just has never occured to her that she is different. To her she is like any other kid. We have always used the term Down syndrome in her presence but I just don't think she is there cognitivly yet. I am wondering did your kids just realize they were different or was it a gradual realization. We do have friends with kids with Ds but when we get together they are just friends. She does not see herself or them as different.I guess maybe she's too young but I am not sure how I will explain it to her when the time comes. I know this may sound weird but I can't really put it well. I don't want her to wake up one day and think " I have DS? why didn't anyone tell me?"

Great question-we have a ways to go but I am intersted in the answers also...

When Angela was about 3 or 4 she confused her friend Hope's picture for her own. I said, "No, That's Hope. But you're right, she looks just like you doesn't she? That's because she has Down Syndrome just like you do." and I left it at that. Just like we were talking about having the same hair color, etc. Around the same time I had a couple of books with kids with DS in them, and Angela was saying, "Me. Me" (I think she thought they were her.) and I'd say, "You're right. They look just like you. They have Down Syndrome just like you!"

By the time Angela was 5 she was picking out people with DS in stores and stuff. By 6 if she saw them she would would walk right up to them to say hello, etc. When she started special olympics at 7 she GRAVITATE towards the adults and kids who had DS. Still and 9, she does the same thing when we go to practices.

Now we are just starting to have DEEP conversations about stuff. Like, "How iss baby getting her Joanie's tummy?"

Last week she had a friend from her special ed. class ride home on the bus with her. The night before, she was doing her usual routine of wanting to know the next days schedule of events. I told her, "We're getting up, get dressed, go to school, Meghan is riding your bus home, and then Dance class."

Her response was, "That's right mom. Oh...by the way...(she says that every night to buy time) Meghan not having Down Sinrum. Only me. Iss ok."

I was really surprised by this. We've never talked about the other kids at school, and there are no other kids with DS in her special ed. class. "You're right Angela. Meghan doesn't have Down Syndrome, and that's ok."

"No mom. Iss ok I having Down Sinrum." This has been my very first inclination ever that she is noticing SHE is different, and not that OTHERS are different.

How do you respond to this? I had no clue. "Angela, it is absolutely PERFECT that you have Down Sinrum. You are just the way God and I want you to be." (except can we get rid of the swearing? LOL)

"Mom. Is ok Billy having Down Sinrum too."

Ummm I have no idea who Billy is! "Who's Billy?"

"He in Mr. J's class, but ownee kindregarden." Of course the next day I had to ask her teacher who this kid is, because Angela's class is at the opposite end of the building from where the Kindergarteners are. Sure enough, there is a kindergarener with DS!

So...I guess she knows now. She's got it connected. I don't think she has any idea what it means other than they look a lot alike. But that's ok with me!

Noah will be 7 in May and he hasn't a clue he has Ds. We treat him like the other kids, so I don't really think he's aware that he's different. In school he has an aide, which is different from the other kids, but I think he thinks that he's just more special, not that he's behind or below anyone else. I really don't know when I'll explain it to him, if ever. We talk about Ds all the time around him as well and have so many functions and get together's regarding Ds, but I still don't know if he knows it's because of him.

interesting question thanks leah & vonda for your replys Im sure this will help all of us with younger children

Last year I went to the CDSS(Canadian Down Syndrome Society)conference and at one of the talks the speaker said that you should at one point discuss with your child that he/she had DS.
I had gone with two moms that have sons around 11 so they both thought that it was time to appraoch the subject.
I had never thought about ever telling my son because I guess he would kind of know in a way. It may sound naive but I never, ever thought about it. Wierd huh.
I guess when they get older they might want to talk about it.

Thanks everyone, I guess we will just address it as it comes. Maybe have some conversations about it at her level.

Eliza was about a month or so and a mom with a teenaged son with Ds called us (I think he's around 14) to talk etc. Her son does some activities with other kids his age with Ds and recognizes it but whenever she brings it up with him he doesn't think or believe he has Ds. He recognizes people who have Ds and says he likes them but refuses to believe her when she tells him he does too. It's like he was caught between two worlds or something.