Momof6 Super Member
Joined: 30 Sep 2008
Last Visit: 25 Sep 2010 Posts: 1857 Location: Cortland, NY
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Posted: July 26 2010, 1:26 PM Post subject: A Monday smile...
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To those of us who have children in our lives,
Whether they are our own,
Grandchildren,
Nieces,
Nephews,
Or students....
Here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control,
You can take comfort from the thought that
Even God's omnipotence did not extend
To His own children.
After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was
' DON'T!'
'Don 't what?'
Adam replied.
'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.'
God said.
'Forbidden fruit?
We have forbidden fruit?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!'
' No Way!'
'Yes way!'
'Do NOT eat the fruit!'
Said God.
'Why?'
'Because I am your Father and I said so!'
God replied,
Wondering why He hadn't stopped
Creation after making the elephants
A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
And He was ticked!
'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?'
God asked.
'Uh huh,'
Adam replied.
'Then why did you?'
Said the Father.
'I don't know,'
Said Eve.
'She started it!'
Adam said.
'Did not!'
'Did too!'
'DID NOT!'
Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
Should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it,
Don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children,
What makes you think it would be
A piece of cake for you?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life
Teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
The next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward
For not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why
Some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact,
They usually repeat word for word
What you shouldn't have said
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
Is to remind yourself that there are children
More awful than your own
6. We childproofed our homes,
But they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
Nursing home one day
AND FINALLY:
IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN'
AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!
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DanielsMommy Super Member
Joined: 18 Sep 2005
Last Visit: 24 Sep 2010 Posts: 4355 Location: Rhode Island
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Posted: July 26 2010, 1:50 PM Post subject:
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Quote: |
Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
Nursing home one day |
This was hysterical. It's so funny about the nursing home because I always joke with my father (who is almost 73 yrs) that he better be nice to me cause I'm picking his nursing home. I also go on to say that I'm going to visit a ton of homes, rank them in order...and just to spite him...I'll pick #2. LOL!!! He's knows I'm only kidding, because he knows that I'll take care of him at my home and never send him to a nursing home unless he needs that type of medical care someday.
_________________
Lisa - Mommy to Elayna 10-1-02 and Daniel (Ds) 6-7-05
Always have hope....Without rain, there can be no rainbows.
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~Ben'smum~ Super Member
Joined: 26 May 2009
Last Visit: 25 Sep 2010 Posts: 1232 Location: Northern Ireland
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Posted: July 26 2010, 2:30 PM Post subject:
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Very funny!
_________________ Karen- Mum to the world's cutest baby!! Ben
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rlstewart Senior Member
Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Last Visit: 24 Sep 2010 Posts: 434 Location: Colorado
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Posted: July 26 2010, 5:29 PM Post subject:
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I sure needed that today. I'm attempting to potty train my 2 year old and am beyond frustrated.
_________________ Racheal
mom to Henry (01/06), Ramona (06/08), and Cora (2/10)
Don't underestimate my ability
Don't definate my character
Don't belittle my authority
It's time you recognize my quality
-Peter Tosh, I Am That I Am
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